Not Loving Lyme

Two weeks ago I was scrambling about trying to get costumes sewn for a Regency Ball. Now life is quite different. About a week ago it became very clear that the flu-like symptoms plus jaw pain I had been feeling for a couple days were not hormonal after all. After talking to my doctor, we decided what I was experiencing was likely Lyme Disease from an unseen tick bite. She called in a prescription, and I started the antibiotic right away.

The next day, we found the telltale sign-- the bull's-eye rash-- in a place I never would have seen that tiny, old tick! Later the headache pain was so bad that my husband took me to the emergency room where just about every test was performed-- from COVID to spinal tap to x-rays and beyond! The only test that showed bad stuff was the Lyme test. The nice staff gave me a bag of fluids and some pain medication which helped so I could sleep that night. I came home and slept. 

Two days later, I started feeling some weird stuff going on in the right side of my face. Twitches. More pains. A little numbness. This was one Lyme symptom I really hoped would bypass me-- facial paralysis.

Day 1 of facial paralysis

My eyes were not blinking normally, and I couldn't smile. Since then, the paralysis is worse. I can't make it look like a smile no matter how hard I try! (If you want to see me smile, cover up that droopy side of my face.)

Today's "smile"--much droopier face!

The paralyzed right side of my face produces a good deal of nerve pain. Chewing is painful, talking is painful, lots of light and sound are painful. I'm learning new ways of eating and drinking. I'm trying not to frighten my children. I avoid laughing (because it hurts!). Brushing teeth is interesting. And talking is purely functional for necessities to my family, so if you call, please don't be offended if I can't talk. I'm sorry that the children don't always give out good information, so I'll try to post updates from time to time. BUT looking at screens for very long isn't easy, and did I mention it's nearly impossible for me to read, too?

So what have I been up to? Well, I'm pretty tired most of the time, so I'm usually in my darkened bedroom sleeping or just resting away from sound and light. I also slowly eat my (often ground into mush) meals with a baby spoon so my antibiotics won't upset my stomach.

My friend Marti reminded me (literally as my face was becoming paralyzed) that I didn't have all those other things I was testing for: I didn't have a brain tumor, I didn't have fatal meningitis, I didn't have a brain aneurysm. I have a treatable disease. For that I am thankful to God (and to Marti for the reminder).

And as always, there's a silver lining to this cloud: I'm losing some weight :) And praying. And resting. And trusting God that all will be well. 

At supper this evening, I complained, "This is NOT how I wanted to spend my summer!" My son said, "There's a song about that!" Then he grabbed his phone and played for me the Minions' version of a Rolling Stones' tune:  "You Can't Always Get What You Want." Thanks, son.

Please, please, please read about Lyme Disease and its symptoms. Those tiny ticks are so small that even when they are in more visible places, they are hard to see! But if you can recognize the symptoms (and there are soooo many of them) without looking only for a bull's-eye rash (because it isn't always there!), you can get treatment early so that it doesn't become a chronic issue. Please do this for your own health and for the health of those you love.

And I've written about our experiences with Lyme Disease before here and here and here. 

Ugly Truth and Quick Cookies

Is it just me, or does it seem that the truth is hard to come by lately? With an election year in full swing and with all the COVID-19 and riot confusions, I just don’t know what to believe. Maybe you’re feeling as ill as I am from the honesty deficiency surrounding us. If so, I’ll try to help you out and give you a dose of the cold, the hard, and the ugly truth.

I hate the hot days of summer. I hate the heat. I detest the humidity. I love air conditioning. That’s the cold truth.

I can’t stand my garden looking wilted, but sometimes I am just too l lazy to water it. I complain about my tomatoes being too small, but it’s probably all my fault because I don’t fertilize enough. The poor crop of green beans, on the other hand, is entirely the fault of the bunnies. And the most prolific crop in my garden is the rocks; that’s the hard truth I was talking about. 

Wilted

I like bacon. I like bacon grease. And although my kids scold me for it all the time, I even lick the bacon grease off of the cookie sheet using my finger as a spoon. This is, most definitely, the ugly truth.

That’s not my only bad habit. I also enjoy kicking my socks off in bed. My husband scolds me when he finds several pairs of my socks under the sheets at the bottom of the bed.

Small tomatoes

While I’m being honest, I might as well tell you that sometimes I neglect my family in order to read a book I just can’t put down. Don’t misunderstand; the kids are fed and clothed and loved. But sometimes I do hide in the bathroom to read when I should be grading school papers or folding clothes. Or washing the bacon grease from the cookie sheets (with soap and water).

Snack for caterpillars

When I was a little kid, I stole a pistachio nut from an open basket in theproduce department at the A & P. I loved green pistachio pudding, but I’d never tried the nut. My mother was certain I wouldn’t like them and refused to buy any, so I slipped a single pistachio into the pocket of my jeans when she wasn’t looking. Later I closeted myself in my bedroom, took out the contraband, and felt so guilty that I didn’t even attempt to eat it. I don’t remember how I got rid of the evidence, but I do know that I didn’t try pistachios until I was an adult. To be completely honest, I still feel guilty about that.

So many rocks

And finally, because I have no desire to run for public office ever, I will come out and say it. I am a racist, but not in the way you might think. I am prejudiced in favor of the human race. Truthfully, I have been disappointed by people and their actions and words over the last several months, but I still love them. I can’t help it. I enjoy watching people, listening to people, and even complaining about people. I love big people, little people, ugly and pretty people, stupid and smart people. 

An entire garden full of rocks!

We are all so different, with different concerns and ideas and hopes and fears. But folks, we are being pitted against each other in this day and age; the media calls us maskers and anti-maskers, vaxxers and and anti-vaxxers, racists and anti-racists. How easy it is for us to forget the big truth— that we are (most of us) just people doing the best we can in a world full of controversy and confusion. 

And here’s my last truth: we need each other. I can’t think of anybody I know who hasn’t felt isolated in some way this year. Bridge that divide however you feel comfortable because we are, all of us, mired in this sometimes mucky life and need a connection to solid ground.

**************************************

I’ll never be a politician because I am a little too open and honest. But it is the political season, and the mud-slinging has commenced. It just so happens that one of my favorite cookies looks just like mud. The church cookbook from North Dakota that I use calls them Five Minute Cookies, but most people I know call them No Bake Cookies. I see them in convenience stores all the time, but the only reason I know why somebody wouldn’t make this simple recipe at home is that she doesn’t want to gain a few extra pounds by eating them all. Enjoy.

Five Minute Cookies

2 cups sugar

5 Tbsp. cocoa powder

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup butter (1 stick)

3 cups quick oats

1/2 cup peanut butter

1/2 tsp. vanilla

In a large pot, stir together the sugar, cocoa, milk, and butter over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil. Boil for 2 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the peanut butter, oats, and vanilla. Drop by tablespoon onto waxed paper and allow to cool until set.

 *This column was printed in the April 1, 2020, issue of the Hancock News.

**I hope you enjoy all of the garden pictures that show just how ugly my garden can be. If you are like me and have weeds over-powering the food stuff, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! At least we tried.

Unsolicited Homeschool Advice

I will be honest with you; while so many other people are struggling to find the new "normal," not much has changed around our house. We are still homeschooling, plugging along as best we can. 

With so many folks involuntarily homeschooling these days, I wanted to share some unsolicited homeschool advice. 

Here it goes.

Homeschooling doesn't need to look like it does at school. Sometimes homeschooling is assigned bookwork.

Okay, so perhaps something more than math was going on at this table. . . 

And sometimes the learning just happens without the teacher. Recognize those moments for what they are-- organic learning. Here are a few examples of what that looks like at our house.

I did assign a book for my older two boys to read-- Edmund Burke's Reflections on the Revolution in France. But I didn't ask them to do anything with that. Last Wednesday, one son found something in Burke that resonated with him, and he surprised me with a little note on our whiteboard. This led to an impromptu discussion. It was unplanned, but it was learning.

We have a sad little piano in our basement. It is somewhat broken and a little out of tune. We don't have a piano teacher or lessons. I don't know how to play. But lately my students have been plunking away at favorite tunes. A few have taught themselves to read music the last few weeks by reading a piano instruction book. All by themselves and because they want to.

Sure, I teach music and music appreciation, but this was something I hadn't planned. (I promise you, I did NOT plan to hear so many thousands of renditions of "Ode to Joy" each day for the last 2 or 3 weeks.) And it has been very good for the children.

The big deal this week at our house is bees. We got a call on Monday morning from the post office; they wanted us to come pick up those boxes of bees that were waiting for us. Imagine that!

So we picked them up, and with no prior experience, my eldest installed the bees in the two hives he built by himself (maybe with some help from his younger brother) with materials he bought with his own money. 

Why bees? I don't know exactly why, but he became fascinated with them from reading. So he read more and more and more. It wasn't an assignment; it was his own interest.

So this week our entire family has learned about bees from the hands-on experience. We've learned about how to install bees in a hive. And we've learned something about disappointment.

Hello, dead queen bee.

I'm not saying that while your children are home they need to pick up an expensive hobby like beekeeping or that they need to learn to play a musical instrument. But you should allow your children to explore their interests-- on their own. Learning happens all by itself sometimes, and overwhelmed parents who are trying to work and teach school from home can take comfort in that.

While learning happens on its own, don't completely ignore your children. If you notice an interest, try to give your child time and resources like books or craft materials or free rein in the kitchen to follow that inclination. And don't be disappointed if the interest only lasts one day. Learning happened. Really, it did. 

And if your child is more interested in laying out all those educational books Grandma bought him on the floor so the army soldiers can have a better surface for combat, so be it. Yes, independent play like that can be learning, too. 

So don't stress too much. Do what you can*, and then allow your children a little independence. Learning will happen without you. I promise. 

This picture is from almost 9 years ago when I was very pregnant and had 2 preschoolers. While the boys were outside for recess, I was inside having a meltdown because I hadn't planned a fun activity for the boys to make a model of the solar system.  The next thing I knew, the boys were running inside and dragging me out to show me their creation-- a sidewalk chalk model of the solar system. And they explained to me all about it using big vocabulary words and everything. The best part was that it was completely their own idea.

*Please make sure your children read or are read to (by you or by audiobooks or by Grandpa on the phone) while they are not in school. It can be assigned by school or it can be a newspaper or an old fairy tale. Keep them exposed to words!

It Happens Every Time

Today was our first day back to school work, and it happened.

The kids love to giggle at Mom's mistakes.

Also, does anybody else have an Epiphany tree this year? 

Gratitude List 2019

I need an attitude adjustment. The holiday season begins this week, and instead of facing it with a pumpkin spice latte in one hand and a frosted sugar cookie in the other, I’m dreading the whole thing. You see, my mother passed away in September.

Those of you who have lost a mother will likely understand the difficulty of putting into words how I’ve felt since then. It’s an actual physical ache somewhere near my heart that only goes away fully with sleep. Who would have guessed that every last thing in the world reminds me of my mother and my loss and my sorrow?

But that’s not what Thanksgiving is about. Enter my old and neglected friend, my yearly gratitude list. Maybe a little gratitude can change my attitude. I’ll give it a try for 2019.

I’m grateful that my daughter thinks it is disgusting when people bite their toenails. That my son thinks technology is interesting and fun; you should see the the digital doohickeys he creates for my online shop. That another son attempts to keep me on track at the Friday night auctions so I don’t do something stupid like accidentally bid on rusty old c-clamps. 

I’m grateful for little boys who whisper big dreams of playing in the NFL before drifting off to sleep. I think I’m thankful that diaper days are over. And for my “baby” who at the age of four can do so many big-girl things on her own but who still wants me to help her sometimes. Being needed feels good.

I’m thankful when people apologize to those they hurt, even when the hurt was accidental. Sincere apologies do make a difference.

I’m grateful for Jane Austen’s novels that I binge-read this summer; if I had read them in junior high, I would’ve ditched New Kids on the Block for Mr. Darcy and Mr. Knightley. Also I’m grateful for my lovely oldest daughter who encourages me to watch movies based on Austen’s novels.

I’m grateful for my mother-in-law’s homemade tomato soup which she continues to make for others despite the fact that eating tomato products puts blisters in her mouth. For dark chocolate, for Earl Grey tea, for freshly ground coffee, and for any friend (or stranger) who supplies me with these indulgences.

I am thankful for emu oil and arch supports because arthritic feet are no fun.

The organist at our church has considerable skills; you should hear her play on Reformation Sunday! I’m thankful God gifted our congregation with her talents. And I’m thankful for my son’s beautiful singing voice; his strength of both voice and spirit lifted me up in some of my darkest hours.  Also for my youngest children who flock to me when I cry; how can concerned, loving little faces attached to hugging arms not bring joy?

For my sisters, I give thanks. Without them I’d feel so alone because only they understand my sadness completely. For Daddy who cared for my mother’s needs so well as her health failed. And for my mother because she taught us all how to love each other.

I’m thankful for the man who organizes all my messes, who entertains the children by playing video games when I need a nap, and who doesn’t flinch when I wipe my tears and my nose on his shirt. And babies! My niece is having one tomorrow, and I’m ecstatically thankful; every mourning family should have a new baby.

Mostly I’m thankful for a loving Father from whom all of these blessings flow. I sincerely wish for you all a happy Thanksgiving.

***********************************

My Thanksgiving rolls are rising!

That gratitude list was long overdue. This recipe is years overdue; it’s been hanging on my kitchen cupboard since the last time I wrote a newspaper column. My friend from church shared it with me, and it is a versatile one—suitable for any holiday get-together. 

Quick Fruit Dessert

1 cup butter or margarine

1 1/2 cups sugar

4 eggs

1 tsp. almond extract

2 cups all purpose flour

2 tsp. baking powder

1 can fruit filling

Cream together the butter and sugar. Add eggs and beat until light and fluffy. Mix in the almond extract. Next mix in the flour and baking powder.

Butter a 9 x 13 inch cake pan and pour or turn mixture into pan. Spoon in the pie filling in 6 to 16 spots on top of mixture. 

Bake at 350℉ for 30 to 35 minutes or when none of the flour mixture comes out when you insert a toothpick. You may top this dessert with powdered sugar.

Recipe note: You may use only 2 eggs if that’s all you have, and either homemade or store-bought fruit filling will work. You may also add more flour if the consistency seems off.

**This column was printed in the November 27, 2019, issue of the Hancock News.

She Was the Best Mom

Last week my mother died. I'm not certain I really feel like writing much about it yet. September has been a blur of hospital, hospice, and loss.

And birthdays. September is always birthdays for us.

Birthday craziness

In the midst of death, life keeps marching on. I am trying to find my footing without this lovely lady.

I am thankful for many things during this time. My faith. Her faith. Family by birth. Family by baptism. Sleep. Kind words and cards. Silly children. Steadfast husband. Distracting birthdays. Pictures on the computer so I don't have to dig through shoeboxes.

I am thankful that I have no doubt whatsoever about what my mother felt about me. We were on good terms, and I have no "mommy issues."

My sweet little mommy loved me!

It is an understatement to say that I loved her and that my heart is breaking for missing her. 

If you can, give your own mother a hug or card or chocolate; you won't regret it ever.

He Was a Good Dog

And Then There Were None

A little over a week ago, it was my turn to take our dog out first thing in the morning. This is the sight that greeted me.

In case you can't tell what that is, here's a closer look:

Yep, those are feathers. Lots of feathers. Guinea feathers, to be exact. I knew something was very wrong in guinea paradise. 

Upon further inspection, my son and I confirmed my suspicions-- the remaining two guineas had been brutally murdered by some nocturnal beast. I guess, technically, we could be wrong as we never found the bodies (only a few small chunks attached to feathers), but really, what nocturnal beast that drags guineas through a smallish hole in chicken wire would leave the bodies around as evidence?

As violent as this was, it wasn't heartbreaking to our family because these only two who were left were male and driving us crazy by fighting with each other. 

I guess that's the end of our first fowl experiment. We liked the eggs. We did see a decrease in ticks on our bodies; no Lyme disease while we had the guineas. My favorite thing about the guineas was just watching them; they are so funny!

The downsides to guineas? Well, when we wanted to vacation or visit family for a few days, we had to find somebody who was willing to take care of them. Also, they were not good for our garden; they either dusted and killed plants or ate my greens. We also didn't care for the meanness; they weren't mean to us, they were mean to each other.

In the end, we do plan on getting more fowl-- but not until spring probably. We all want different birds-- guineas, chickens, and ducks. I guess you'll have to tune in next spring to see what we settle on.

Good-bye, Emu

On Saturday morning we met the emu's owner who brought the trailer that would (we hoped) return our emu to its friends.

So how would this emu be caught? Well, not easily, that's for sure. It was lured with food, but it did take a few go-arounds and some corralling. And struggling. And coordination. And strength. And patience.

Phew!

Predictably, the emu was not thrilled to be in the trailer. It tried to poke its head out the back to escape. It failed. My littlest one told me later that the emu was "saying goodbye with him head."

Then, ever-so-quickly, it was all over, and the emu farmer was saying goodbye with his hand.

And that brings us to the end of our little emu drama. There are no more installments. This story will not be continued.

Unless. . . 

 (I did tell you there were more emu sightings the next valley over, right?)

Distractions

I don't know any homeschooling mom who doesn't groan daily (at least inwardly) because of the distractions that keep the curriculum from being accomplished. This year potty-training kept pulling me away from the books. Meal prepping and making, because eating is one of those necessary things in life, constantly drag me away from math lessons.

Sometimes, however, I'm able to step back and recognize some distractions as a different and better kind of learning.

While this chemical reaction experiment was part of the younger kids' science curriculum, the whole family took part when it was time to light up the smoke bomb. This was definitely a fun distraction from the daily grind. It was over all too quickly.

Our home-made smoke bomb

I'm not always good about being patient with little kids who wander off from where they are supposed to be. A few weeks ago I was trying to corral kids to the table for lunch when my preschool son was missing. "Where is he?" I asked. The children told me he was with his ants. 

"His what?!"

And there I found him on our front walkway, lying down and observing his ants. He was even kind enough to feed them at the Ritz for lunch-- or at least to feed them from the Ritz cracker he'd wanted for a snack.

Peter's ants

While he's not yet tied to the books for formal schooling, this sort of learning is priceless. He observed for hours over the next few days and told me there were two groups of ants fighting.

The longer I teach my children, the more I realize that these "distractions" are the best learning. Many people call these times "teachable" moments, but I am starting to realize that sometimes I need to stop trying to teach and put on my child-like wonder and learn next to my students.

Happy Heat Day

Well, today's the day. My husband woke up and turned on the heat. It is chilly in here, and since our garden did nothing this year, we have no pumpkins roasting to keep the house warm.

Hmmm. . . maybe yesterday was heat day because I turned on one of the heaters in the addition last evening before bed for a little while. I was chilled to the bone from being outside all afternoon making cider.

But then again, does it count that yesterday we had a heater going in the garage so everybody could warm their hands while making cider?

This heat game I made up is so confusing!

Because I'm writing the blog post today and because my husband turned on the main heater this morning, I declare today-- Monday, October 22, 2018-- the official 2018 Heat Day.

Click here for last year's Heat Day post.

Oops. That wasn't the "official" Heat Day 2017 post. Evidently, this year is an EPIC fail with my game. Today I definitely lost my heat game. Losing a game you make up and change all the rules to in which you are the only player-- I think that is just pathetic.

Oh, well, always next year.

Wisdom, Stinkbugs, & Salsa

I’m convinced that being quiet is the key to wisdom. Quiet folks can observe more of the world around them without being distracted by the words coming out of their own mouths.

Likely I’ll never be wise because I like to talk too much. But lately, I’ve had reason to be less talkative; my voice is hoarse and nearly gone. In quieting myself more than usual, I have noticed smaller things in the world around me.

Mostly I’ve noticed stinkbugs. Those ugly little creatures are everywhere. They hang out on the doors waiting to come in when somebody goes in or out. The daredevil ones make their way inside through my stove vent, but that’s not so smart because several have landed right on a hot cast iron skillet.

Once inside, the bugs crawl around walls and ceiling, just out of my reach, until they decide in which light fixture they should take up permanent residence. Sometimes the disgusting insects think it necessary to dive-bomb an unsuspecting little girl, thereby instigating much noise and chaos in our home. 

Let’s not even discuss the massive numbers of the stinkers that find their way into our van.

It’s fair to say that I hate stinkbugs. What’s more, I hate that the sight of a stinkbug crawling on my bathroom mirror or even on my body no longer gives me the heebie-jeebies. It bothers me that my toddler can say “stinka-bug” as clearly as “Mama.” I can’t stand that I no longer feel like fighting the good fight against the brown marmorated stinkbug.

I guess it takes a wise person to admit defeat. Then again, maybe a wise person would fake defeat and then plan a sneak attack with a vacuum hose.

***********************************************

One of my friends says that the invading stinkbugs have ruined cilantro for her because its smell is so similar to the stinkbug smell. In fact, my children have renamed cilantro “stinkbug weed.” Surprisingly, I still like the green herb. I even grow it in my garden.

A friend from my husband’s seminary years shared her recipe for salsa with me all those years ago, and it is a good one--especially when garden tomatoes are no longer available fresh. It calls for chicken bouillon, but I’ve made it without, too. 

Quick and Easy Salsa

1- 16 oz. can whole peeled tomatoes

1/2 onion, chopped

1 jalapeno pepper, chopped (optional)

1 tsp. salt

1 Tbsp. chicken bouillon (granules)

juice from 1/2 lemon

1/2 bunch cilantro, chopped

In a food processor, pulse all ingredients until you like the consistency. 

*This column ran in the Hancock News October 25, 2017. 

*All pictures are of stinkbugs invading the new addition to our home as it was being built. 

The Pioneer Woman Experience

Way back at the beginning of November we traveled for two weeks. We drove too much for the liking of some little kids, but we did get to see new sites.

The one that was most exciting for me was this little spot in the middle of nowhere, Kansas. This log cabin is a replica of Laura Ingalls Wilder's little house on the prairie. That was the first big book I read as a child, and I've worn out copies of the series from so much reading. They're still my favorite books as an adult. While this site was closed for the season, we were still able to walk around and see what was outside of locked doors.

I actually started to get emotional when we pulled up here!

Since we were headed to the Oklahoma City area from here, it wasn't too far out of the way to go to Pawhuska, Oklahoma, where Pioneer Woman (a.k.a. Ree Drummond, blogger extraordinaire and Food Network star) had just opened her new store, The Mercantile, earlier in the week. My kids watch her show with me on Saturday mornings, and my little girl (the middle one) really loves her.

Pawhuska is a little town, but it seemed hopping on that Saturday afternoon. You can see why in this picture. 

Approaching The Mercantile, the line to get into the store.

And on the other of the building, there was another long line.

I'm guessing this was the line for the restaurant.

At this point, my husband and I knew we'd not be stopping because seven children and a line that looks like it would take hours isn't my cup of tea. I'm also not into waiting in line to shop in a store of any kind. But I decided I wanted to take a picture of the lines for this blog, so we hung a left and turned around. While we were doing this, two children swore they'd seen Pioneer Woman's husband, Marlboro Man (a. k. a. Ladd). The adults weren't buying it. 

On our way back through town, we saw this:

This hand-held sign reads "Cool Stuff".

So we followed and went around the block. And wouldn't you know, cool stuff appeared. If we hadn't been driving for so long with little children, I would've stopped to look at the cool stuff more closely.

Metal bison and roosters qualify as "cool stuff."

On the way past PW's store, I did get some pictures (namely the ones above). AND see the fellow in the cowboy hat below? That's the husband the kids had spotted before, out mixing with the crowd. 

Ladd Drummond

So then we drove on out of town, into the eventual sunset. And there were many, many tears from my disappointed little daughter. I felt horrible. It was the one thing on the whole trip she was looking forward to, and I just couldn't make it right. 

However, on our way to the interstate from there, I saw some gorgeous scenery. I pulled out the camera to take a picture, rolled down the window to take a picture of it, but since we were driving the speed limit which is so fast out there, I clicked on this instead:

The Drummond Ranch

While I didn't plan it and don't actually know if that is Pioneer Woman's family's ranch, I thought it was a funny accidental shot. And the possibility that the vehicle we saw coming out of the drive might have been her beloved Pioneer Woman seemed to calm the crying girl down a little bit. But not entirely. Disappointment is a sad thing.

This was some of the scenery I was trying to get a shot of:

Not long after, we noticed this field.

Windturbines, oil, and cattle grazing 

We guessed that whoever owned that land was making a killing on one spot of land. Talk about maximizing potential!